simplyn2deep: (Default)
so the story I mentioned here has a sequel! The first story ended with a proposal, marriage and introduction of a baby. The 2nd story has the baby (named Daniel Steven McGarrett) and a fairly decent case (Steve abducted by someone from Grace's past).

Why did I look up this author? I was curious to see if there was a sequel. so far it's at 13 chapters. I read all 13 chapters and kept going wtf?! and the comments...omg. well written? not really. good characterization? whoa nelly, NO! But I know this is an AU, I just can't get over Steve being in love with Grace! The girl called him uncle! Her father is his best friend! and don't even get me started (again) on how calm Danny and Rachel were about it!

But anyways...this sequel...if I try to ignore the pairing, which is hard considering it's mentioned a lot, the story is okay.

morbid curiocity is going to have me following this new story until it's complete...and hope that there's no more. But the author has said the more they write Grace/Steve the more they love the pairing. IDGI
simplyn2deep: (Default)
There is no world that would make this Grace/Steve (canon age at that!) okay! There is no world that would have Danny okay, at any point, with that relationship. In what world would Steve think of (16/17 yr old) Grace as "smokin' hot"?!

But wait...apparently there is! and it's called fanfiction.net!

I did this to myself in asking for the link to the fic. the author said it was going to be a one shot, but now it's 9 fucking chapters!

I'm sorry...what?!

Oh and underage sex in the first chapter!

No...just no.

Of the 12 comments, there was praise, in various forms. I'm surprised there was no outrage!

eta in chapter 4, the author put this note up: Okay some of you are probably wondering just how old Commander McGarrett is in this fic. This story is pretty AU obviously, so I'm saying Steve was 26 when Grace was 10. She's 18 now so that puts him at 34. If that ruins your image of him in this fic the forget I said anything lol. But for those of you wondering, there ya go!

now that would put Danny/Rachel at teen parents when Grace was born, right? oh boy! Rachel didn't have a problem with her daughter, barely out of high school and just turned 18, being in a relationship with a man old enough to be her father. Kono, Chin, Charlie and Max all know about the relationship, and they don't have a problem with it.

Now, this doesn't mean that I'm not opposed to Steve/Grace. I've read a handful of fics like that, but Grace is an adult in them. and they were okay.



Let me go back to my happy McDanno place.

OMG

Oct. 19th, 2012 06:04 pm
simplyn2deep: (Default)
the insanity!

this fic. it's horrible but I keep reading in hopes it gets better but I know it won't.

it has nearly all of my fic deal breakers but it's like a train wreck...I keep reading.

I just don't know when to stop )

oh wth

Jul. 31st, 2012 06:22 pm
simplyn2deep: (Default)
ugh! someone asks for concrit and I give it, and they continue to make the same damn errors in future chapters/stories.

The errors aren't necessarily minor ones either. Misspelling a person's name or a city. Those are things that can be "jarring" to readers and I only point them out bc the author says they don't have a beta and they want concrit.
simplyn2deep: (Default)
I beta read a story for someone where English wasn't their first language and corrected the errors to "Americanize" it, but when they posted it, it was like I didn't even touch the story!

There are errors I know I would have corrected and it makes me sort of cringe reading it. I'm comparing it to the corrected version I have still saved and I'm like "it's been changed back?"

Why did I spend nearly a month correcting the fic if my corrections were going to be tossed aside or changed back?
simplyn2deep: (Default)
so I'm reading this fic on ff.net and it barely makes decent. has 3 chapters and the flow is all over the place. chock full of spelling errors

then out of left field there's mpreg! NO WARNING! I don't have a problem with mpreg, but dude, warn for it so I don't think the whole thing is hokey (which in this fic its just utter crap with how it was written)

the news is sprung on Danny and he doesn't freak out and then immediately wants to tell Chin and Kono. no set up, no "you may want to sit down"

at this point (towards the end of the 2nd chapter) it's like an on going train wreck and I'm watching it unfold.

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