Lizet's Place

I went to the doctor for my post-surgery check-up...it wasn't a check-up so much as to ask me how I felt and to give me the pathology results from the surgery.

( Read more... )

July 30th I have surgery.

I've been waiting for this since March when the doctors told me that I'd have to have it if I wanted any hopes of getting pregnant and having kids.

So, I tell my mom and sister and their response was as if I told them something so mundane. There was no real excitement concern about it.

I mean, my mom asked how I was doing, but my sister was like "thanks for letting me know...let me know if you need anything as well."

They, but especially my sister, can GFSF!

Like...seriously?!

I know we aren't a demonstrative family, but JFC! Nothing from my sister asking if I need a ride to/from the hospital. And I don't think I should have to ask her to be there for me. I already know, from when I first told her my diagnosis that her work is more important than at least offering to take me to an appt or asking how I'm doing. She was like "don't worry, I've had some removed before"

I don't care that you've had some removed before, this is my first MAJOR surgery ever. I mean, I've been put under for oral surgery, but this is different. IT'S AT A FUCKING HOSPITAL!

Just thinking about this and their reaction really hits home how incredibly fractured my family is...or always has been.

last night I was listening to some music and Cowboy Take Me Away by the Chicks came on and I fucking started to cry! Specifically at this part:

I wanna walk and not run
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall
I wanna be the only one for miles and miles
Except for maybe you and your simple smile
Oh, it sounds good to me
Yes, it sounds so good to me

And it also didn't help that right before I'd seen pictures of some friends with their family and I'd always known how close they were...to the point of actually hating that one of the family units spent more time with the wife's family and hardly any time with the husband's family. And I know they're close...at least close enough to go to church together, but there could be stuff going on in private that I don't know about. It's just that social media-wise, it's all about the wife's family.

Anyway, I'm not close to my family. I don't even feel all that close with my chosen family because they all have their own family they're close with and Jesus, I need a nap! I'm making myself all weepy again.

Yesterday I went to the doctor to meet/speak with the doctor who is going to remove the polyp in my uterus and any endometriosis that I have.

*sigh* This man. I waited about 15 minutes for him to come and right off the bat he was like "what are you here for?" and not in the way that doctors usually ask. It's hard to explain "verbally" heh

Anyway, he was all shocked when I told its been years since I had a period.

So he's going to submit the request for surgery to remove the polyp or endo (he switches back and forth between the two) and then he said I'm going to have to be on Provera for a while, every 3 to 4 months, but he didn't say how long "a while" is.

He preached at me for like 15 mins about losing weight, not as a way for having my period regularly, but to avoid further health complications when I get older.

All of the stuff he was saying I've been doing. Since Jan I've lost like 25 lbs and I'm fucking proud of that.

I don't drink soda as much as I used to, probably going to cut it out completely because it's messing with my eyes.

I'm eating less but eating more fruits and vegetables

So the next step is to get back to exercising.