surgery

[simplyn2deep]

July 30th I have surgery.

I've been waiting for this since March when the doctors told me that I'd have to have it if I wanted any hopes of getting pregnant and having kids.

So, I tell my mom and sister and their response was as if I told them something so mundane. There was no real excitement concern about it.

I mean, my mom asked how I was doing, but my sister was like "thanks for letting me know...let me know if you need anything as well."

They, but especially my sister, can GFSF!

Like...seriously?!

I know we aren't a demonstrative family, but JFC! Nothing from my sister asking if I need a ride to/from the hospital. And I don't think I should have to ask her to be there for me. I already know, from when I first told her my diagnosis that her work is more important than at least offering to take me to an appt or asking how I'm doing. She was like "don't worry, I've had some removed before"

I don't care that you've had some removed before, this is my first MAJOR surgery ever. I mean, I've been put under for oral surgery, but this is different. IT'S AT A FUCKING HOSPITAL!

Just thinking about this and their reaction really hits home how incredibly fractured my family is...or always has been.

last night I was listening to some music and Cowboy Take Me Away by the Chicks came on and I fucking started to cry! Specifically at this part:

I wanna walk and not run
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall
I wanna be the only one for miles and miles
Except for maybe you and your simple smile
Oh, it sounds good to me
Yes, it sounds so good to me

And it also didn't help that right before I'd seen pictures of some friends with their family and I'd always known how close they were...to the point of actually hating that one of the family units spent more time with the wife's family and hardly any time with the husband's family. And I know they're close...at least close enough to go to church together, but there could be stuff going on in private that I don't know about. It's just that social media-wise, it's all about the wife's family.

Anyway, I'm not close to my family. I don't even feel all that close with my chosen family because they all have their own family they're close with and Jesus, I need a nap! I'm making myself all weepy again.

Comments

[cattraine.livejournal.com]

Yeah, having surgery alone is no fun. I had to when I had the metal plate put in my arm. Be sure that you can get someone to give you a ride home at least---most hospitals today won't let you take a taxi or Uber (to cover their own asses) in case you die on the way home.

Fortunately, I was in in the morning and home by one o'clock, but I had to call work and ask a colleague if she could pick me up and take me home, which was very embarrassing.

[simplyn2deep.livejournal.com]

Thankfully the sister and brother in law of the lady I care for offered to drop me off in the morning and pick me up once I'm released.

I mean, when I told them, the sister immediately said, "let me know when and John will take you while I stay with Kim". And now she's even going to stay over night so there's someone here with me and Kim...just in case.

No hesitation and asking wasn't even on my mind because at the time I didn't know that I'd have to have surgery.

But I tell my sister when I was going in for my first consultation after diagnosis and her response was "well remember, I work until 5." like me telling her was my way of hinting at wanting her there.

[kitmerlot1213.livejournal.com]

I’m sorry that your family isn’t responding the way you want and as hard as this is to deal with, you now know in no uncertain terms, exactly where they stand in regards to you and your welfare.

Your surgery will go swimmingly and I will say a prayer for your speedy recovery. Hugs :)