Don't mind me I'm just in my feelings

[simplyn2deep]

It's so stupid how fucked up this guy has me.

I wasted a fucking year talking to this guy and getting to know him thinking that it was going to go somewhere only to find out 3 weeks before a year that no it's not going anywhere.

Part of me wants to think that there was something lost in the communication of the question that I asked him.



And he would always ask for pictures. Not every single time we talked but more often than not he worked in asking for pictures. The majority of the time that he asked I said no because I had just sent him some and why? Like why do guys get off on seeing pictures of boobs? Like they're boobs!? And then replying with they're huge or those are some big ol titties? Like yeah I know they're attached to my body.

I sent him pics no more than 10 times of the countless times that he's asked... and I even told him if the only reason that he's talking to me is for pictures then he can just stop but he still kept messaging me and coming up to me when he saw me.

But I should count as a "win" that he hasn't told me that it's time for me to have sex again because 10+ years is too long to go without sex or whatever.

Another part of me is just like okay let me get over this and be done with it because it's really screwing me up.

I'm not saying that a lot of my life was wrapped up in him but I saw a lot of potential for stuff that we could do together to get to know each other more but it's obvious that we weren't on the same page with this.

And I'm back again to feeling like I wasted a year of my time...not that I would have been putting myself out there anyway.

And I can't forget about this overwhelming desire to want to be a bitch to him and make a huge stink about this but I really can't because the only time that we see each other is Sundays at church and I don't want people in my business like that.

I want to scream and cry over this and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I have my best friend on my side and I've talked to her about it, but it's not helping like I thought it would.

Comments

[cattraine.livejournal.com]

I think the problem is that women always see potential relationships when they meet men, but men live in the moment and are more interested in what they can get now. Men and women are just wired differently. And unfortunately today with social media, collecting as many different photos as they can to show their bros is part of that.

[theskyyends.livejournal.com]

don't ever send him another picture, just keep walking with your head up high and get back out there. 10 years is a long time to go without any and the next dick you ride doesn't have to be a forever dick, its just a starter package. you're beautiful and smart and caring and creative and understanding and you go to church. you're a catch, you'll find what you want, its just time to put yourself out there and fucking forget what anyone else thinks or says. i love you.