Not being reasonable

[simplyn2deep]

I don't think my dad is being reasonable. he seems to think he'll still be able to work the election in 11 days.

Maybe he will. But the reality of it is that he's currently in the hospital, and as an inspector (his position with working the election), he has responsibilities he's supposed to take care of, but can't. My mom and I can't take care of them because we have our own responsibilities as election worker and inspector to take care of.

Sunday, inspectors are supposed to pick up their election equipment and make sure everything is there. He can designate someone else to pick up his supplies, but he won't be able to go through them to make sure he has everything he's supposed to have or make the necessary arrangements to get what he's missing. And like I said, I won't be able to do that since I'll have my own equipment to go through as an inspector for my own location, and my mom won't be able to go through it bc her training, as poll worker, doesn't cover it. Yes, there's a checklist with the supplies and it's pretty straight forward, but she shouldn't have to deal with it. She needs to be concentrating on what's going on with him.

Also, HE'S STILL IN THE HOSPITAL and even if he was released back to rehab, he'd likely be there another 7 days, won't be able to set up his polling area on June 2, let alone work the election 6am-9pm on June 3.

I don't want to go behind his back and call the County Clerk to let them know so other arrangements can be made, but I'm being realistic. I don't believe he'll be well enough to do what he's supposed to do in his position with this election. I told my mom to tell him that I was going to call, but I'm holding off on making the actual call until she gets there to tell him.

OH! And he's asking for my mom to bring all sorts of stuff for him to use - his laptop, some of his paperwork, and I'm like WTF! You're in the fucking hospital! You've had 3 TIA mini-strokes and are taking blood thinners! Don't you think you should rest and not put more stress on your body?! Taking the bills and his checkbook to him was one thing, but this is too much! And my mom still defers to him on things instead of putting her foot down and saying no!

eta: my mom pawned the job of telling my dad he shouldn't work the election to me. because I voiced my doubts about it, but she agreed. whatever

 

in the end it didn't matter. he's convinced he can do it. I'm just pissed enough to say to hell with it and let her deal with it

Comments

[goneahead]

yeah, he's not being reasonable - and if it's a volunteer thing then they need time to get somebody else in place.

Have you thought about getting a nurse involved? My father-in-law made a surprise visit to see us and then ended up in the hospital (so then it was a real surprise). He of course wanted to get out immediately, once they figured out what was going on, but we took the day nurse aside and explained that neither of us could arrange to be off work and just stay home with him. She talked to the doctors and they kept him in a couple of extra days.

You could mention to the day or head nurse that he has this obligation and he needs to know if he will be able to do it - and if not, the nurse needs to let him know so he can make other plans. just a suggestion cuz it worked for us? sometimes you got to hide behind the professionals.

and of course all of this is happening when you have tests and everything due. wow, you have got to be stressed out to the max. I will keep praying that your dad gets better and that you (somehow) manage to get everything done that needs doing!!

(((huggles you hard)))

[simplyn2deep]

Working the election is volunteer, but we are paid. Thankfully I'm done with school and I had missed 1 day when he actually went in for the surgery. As far as stress, mostly only when people call the house wanting an update. I tell them everything will be done through facebook because to have to repeat the same information repeatedly I don't want to get anything wrong.

His doctors feel he's strong enough to go back to the rehab facility, which is where he was taken about 30 minutes ago and he'll be there for about a week which will have him there until the 30th or 31st. I already told my mom that I wasn't dealing with anything if he make himself worse because I spoke my concerns to both of them and they didn't care, or my mom deferred to my dad and he's convinced he's going to be able to do it.

[goneahead]

you know, for a guy that's grown up, he is being very unreasonable. and you're absolutely right, you've done all you can do.

good to hear that school is done and that's not on your plate too. Most of the schools down here run until June, so I always forget some schools run shorter semesters.

(((hugs)))

[simplyn2deep]

Of the people who know my dad, they have one of 2 reactions when they hear how I am with him: "wow, you shouldn't be so mean to your dad!" or "hey, you do what you have to do." And of my siblings, I'm the one who stands up to him. Yes I'm still "allowed" to live here so I should be nicer, but there's a whole other ball of drama that they don't see and I have to do what I have to do to keep myself sane and not drop off the face of the earth.

The colleges and universities are getting out now. The elementary/middle/high schools still have another 3 weeks before they're done for the year.